"i swear you give people so many chances i just wanna strangle you sometimes" - sister

its true.
but its life.

ps

i'm not pushing the fact that i'm a "good writer" either nor am i claiming to be one. heeellllll nah im not. i write to clear my mind - if you read it and you dig it, bless you.. if you read it and you hate it, bless you.. if you don't read a damn word i write.. skiiiip you. haha jk.. uhhhh. but seriously, i write for me.. and possibly my sister and best friend so they don't have to hear my nonsense i keep inside my head at all times of the day... my therapy is a pen and a piece of paper.. its cheaper than a room with low lit candles and scented tissue on the end of the desk.. get it? no? .... bless you.

secrets

let me share a secret :

when i write.. i hardly write exactly what i am feeling at that exact moment. when i write, i take an emotion.. whether its something i'm experiencing or have and i multiply it to the tenth power. when i scream thoughts of love or thoughts of hate and so on.. i'm hardly near the center. writing is about exaggeration. you love it, we breathe it.. and so on. oh! and you can never understand exactly what i am writing.. if you could, i would want to shoot myself in the hand. i would love for each one of my readers to injest my words and manifest them in their minds to their personal situations. if i told you what to do when reading my words.. it wouldn't be real. or it'd just be real shit.

so if you find yourself ending each story with a question mark.. point made.

love story

coffee in the dark & its tainted
skip the sugar and sip the honey
malicious loss of words
in between sipping sprees
its delicious
on cue
delicious
on you?
nutritious
a melody spoken without a word
temptation feeding that bittersweet flu
love struck and out
like a cold you can't kick
love done and shout!
with a lost voice you can't seek
manipulate the doctor
and avoid the fate
done chasing this exagerrated emotion
mix me a strong one
with extra olives

and im onward..

एडुकेशन?

so i'm returning to school.. FiDM that is.
geared toward the fall.. i'll be that struggling college student eating nothing but veggies and stress relieved coffee [i know caffeine stresses you out, but it soothes me... so all you who tell me to leave the coffee alone, BOUNCE! i geeet it] - anyway.. i'm rather excited :) not only will i finally have my BS degree.. but then transferring to [csulb?] for mfa in poetry? i can teach freelance.. i can write.. i can design.. i can do trend research.. pretty much, my options will be endless and as my middle name is "DREAM" this is my fantasy...

I CAN NOT WAIT.

plus, i never knew how much i'd miss LA until i permanently left it..
it'd be easier if I could visit on the regular, but the whole driving situation and the fact that i work close to 50 hours a week and commute to do it all... kinda puts a damper on my "LA LOVE AFFAIR" - i'm ready to jump back in.. not the scene part of it, as that gets you into trouble.. and a broken wallet.. but the love aspect of it. Long Beach... here i coooome. "fingers eyes and toes crossed everything works out" as this is only the beginning stages of another life altering change..

मूउउज़क.

i love it.

i breathe it.

oh i wish oh i wish i could perform it..

i am 100% interested in the piano.. but need someone patient enough to teach me. the second i was told i had "piano fingers" at the age of.. i think 7, i've been interested. But all those years of ballet turned cheerleading turned boxing turned artist turned fashion turned career career career! never left much time for piano lessons.

maybe i'll go buy a book... and force the parents to buy a piano. my pops has always wanted one... now maybe he'll have an excuse :)

to be continued....

me

me, today.

i'm spring cleaning -
& i've decided to continue with this "blogspot"
as a personal blogspot..
as pretty much the ONLY contributor to "funeral parade" blog- [taide]

sooo.. this is my letter to ensure my dedicated penmanship,
each and every day... if only a few sentences.

<3